Meeting Ade

My first experience as a cougar

Photo by LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS on Adobe Stock

Ade was the first man I had sex with after Hubby, and I opened our marriage. I didn’t set out to bed a much younger man, but that’s exactly what happened. He is the sort of man that a younger version of me thought was out of my league. One night Hubby and I were at the casino near our home. It’s a standard date night for us during the winter because our favorite dates involve dinner and a long walk, and dancing.

In the winter, the casino is always warm. This particular night came after months of pillow talk about Hubby’s desire to see me with another man. We’d played around with the idea a bit. I’d sit at a bar; someone would hit on me, I’d flirt back instead of shutting them down like I typically would. These encounters would rev Hubby and me up for weeks.

The night I met Ade Hubby decided to play a bit of poker, and I wandered the shops and eventually sat to have a Manhattan and read a bit at the bar. I met two women of a similar age, and we got to chatting about life and our husbands, who were all in the poker room. One of them proposed the three of us head to the dance club together.

When we entered the club and found a sea of twenty-somethings wiggling and grinding to some mild hip-hop beats. My favorite thing about the DJ at this particular club is how he isn’t afraid to play the music I grew up listening to even though the crowd skews a bit younger.

The three of us started dancing, and one of the women held out a white pill to me. Since I’m not in the habit of using illegal drugs (Save for cannabis, which isn’t entirely legal in my home state yet), I declined and moved away. I wasn’t interested in being associated with those two in case the bouncer caught the blatant drug use and asked them to leave.

As I backed up moving to the 50 Cent song, the DJ spun, I bumped into what felt like a wall. I turned and was startled to realize I had bumped into a massive human. To be fair, Ade wouldn’t be a gigantic human to many people, but as a petite woman, he towers over me.

He smiled broadly and winked at me, “You can bump into me any time you’d like.”

I smiled back and kept dancing with myself.

I felt a whisper against my neck, “Can I dance with you?”

I turned to see the same man, his hands clasped behind his back, leaning in to ask. Here’s the first time Ade shocked me. My experience with twenty-somethings at a club is that often men just start grinding against women without asking. I find that to be somewhat disgusting. Not only was he asking first, but he was also deliberately holding his hands behind his back to avoid being accidentally creepy.

“I’m much too old for you,” I tilted my head.

“Nope, you aren’t. I’m here with my boys, but I’m the old man of the group,” Ade smiled again, his full lips parting and his face lighting up with humor. I laughed and moved in to dance with him.

We exchanged names and shook hands. Ade did enjoy a fair bit of grinding on the dance floor, but he also spun me around a bit and wasn’t afraid to get a bit silly.

“Can I buy you a drink?” He leaned down again, hands behind his back.

I nodded, “Water,” I said.

Ade rested his hand on the small of my back as we walked.

“Dude, who’s the chick? Bring her here!” A group of young men with military haircuts called out. Ade shook his head and kept walking.

Two men from the group came jogging up to us. “Ade, who’s your friend? Introduce us,” the smaller man said.

“This is Maria, and I’m getting to know her. Get lost,” Ade shooed his friends away.

When we were alone at the bar, I gulped two glasses of water while Ade nursed a glass of cognac, “Would you like a drink, drink now?”

“Sure,” I waved to the bartender and ordered a Woodford Reserve Bourbon.

“That is a grown-ass woman drink,” Ade winked at me.

“Well, I am a grown-ass woman, so it suits,” I replied, smiling over my glass, “How old are you?”

“I’m 26, the rest of the guys over there are in my crew, but I went to college before joining so I’m older than all of them.”

Ade guessed my age to be 28, which is a reasonably common guess. Good genes and sunscreen have left me with a bit of a babyface. When I revealed my real age, Ade was surprised, and, it seemed, even more interested. As we talked, I learned that he was Nigerian, and his family lived in Georgia. Ade spoke highly of his mother, a lawyer, and his older sisters. It was clear he missed home.

“Do you think you’ll move back once your time is up?” Ade’s answer both surprised me and made me a bit sad.

Despite missing his family, Georgia beaches, and warm weather, Ade told me he’d never move back down South. His experience with race relations in New England was so much better than what he experienced in Georgia. He told me stories of hearing racist slurs from store owners, being pulled over and searched without reason, and being told by friends in high school that he shouldn’t talk to white girls.

“Actually, you’re the first white woman I’ve ever hit on,” Ade laughed.

“Well, then, I’m flattered.”

Ade asked me if I liked black men. I gave my usual response, which is that I like men. We discussed my work and his time in the Navy. He’d decided to join after graduating from Columbia, which I found surprising. He was looking for adventure. When I talked about my career, he listened with rapt attention.

“I love the way you talk about your work. Powerful women are so sexy,” His love of strong women was just another way Ade surprised me.

Despite his youth, he was not intimidated or put off by my being a powerful, professional person. There are plenty of men my age and older who can’t handle a strong woman, so perhaps it has little to do with age.

“Want to get out of here? I’d like to kiss you, but I can’t do that in front of my crew. They’ll start hooting at us.”

I nodded and followed Ade out of the club. In the hallway, he stopped and wound his hands through my hair. His kiss made my head spin. He was slow, methodical, and left me wanting more.

Eventually, Ade propositioned me. I had to turn him down, explaining that I was at the casino with my husband. I let Ade know about us opening our marriage. I left Ade that night with a smile on his face, and my phone number in his hand.

I remember telling Hubby about meeting Ade on the drive home that night. He asked questions that made me blush, and eventually, he pulled the van to the side of a deserted road. I leaped into the backseat before he even asked if I wanted to. Hubby laughed, and then he rocked my world. Anyone who makes fun of me for driving a minivan just doesn’t understand how useful they are when you and your husband can’t keep your hands off each other.

It was another month before I saw Ade again. We met at a hotel near my home with very clear intentions for the night. I was nervous. For the first time in 8 years that someone other than my husband would see me naked. There’s a comfort in undressing in front of your husband that doesn’t exist when you’re with someone new. I know how Hubby will react to my naked breasts and that he sees my stretch marks as beautiful reminders of the lives we’ve created. With him, I’m not worried about being rejected. Ade is in the Navy and a passionate weightlifter. Though I work hard to maintain my fitness, I was a bit nervous about him seeing all my wobbly bits and stretch marks.

I stood in the hotel room in a sheer magenta top and black skirt, not sure what to do or how to proceed. Ade led me to the bed and sat down next to me.

He must have picked up on my nervousness, “What do you need?”

“I’m nervous.”

“I can tell. Look, I’m just here to make sure you have a good time. We go at your pace. I don’t have an agenda,” Ade assured me, “Well, except I do really want to see your ass. I’m not sure I’ve ever met a white chick with an ass like that,”

I laughed, Ade kissed me, and within moments I was stripping off my top. I held my breath as he removed my skirt and panties, sure that the sight of my stretch marks would turn him off. Instead, I heard Ade groan with desire before he lowered his mouth to my labia. The delicate, careful way Ade brought me to climax made me want to return the favor, so I flipped around and took his cock in my hand.

It was large enough to make me both nervous about it, fitting in me and excited to try. I couldn’t get his entire cock in my mouth, which is unusual. But, Ade seemed happy with my technique and groaned as I sucked his shaft, letting my tongue stroke the glands of his cock.

“I want to fuck you,” Ade groaned, lifting me and tossing me onto the bed.

“Condom,” I reminded him, crossing my legs to make it clear I wasn’t kidding.

“Ah, shit! I forgot them, hang on,” Ade dressed quickly and ran out of the hotel room.

When he returned moments later, condoms in hand, he was panting, “Did you run the whole way?” I asked.

“When a beautiful naked woman is waiting for you, you sprint to the store,” He smiled, and I reached up to pull him down on top of me.

Ade’s response to forgetting condoms is the only acceptable way to behave. He didn’t try to convince me to proceed without one. He didn’t tell me about his most recent STD screen to get me to wave the condom rule. He sprinted to the convenience store and back.

We started in missionary position, and Ade seemed to be very aware of his size, and how it could make a woman nervous. He entered me slowly, checking in as he went deeper to ensure I wasn’t uncomfortable. Eventually, I figured out an angle that felt good rather than painful and spun around, so I was straddling him. I lowered down, taking his cock fully this time before rocking back and forth. Ade kept his hands on my hips and ass while I moved. His eyes never left my body as I rode him.

When I started swiveling my hips in circles over him, Ade and I both climaxed together, our voices creating a harmony of pleasure.

“Will it offend you if I talk about other people I’ve had sex with?” Ade asked as we laid in the rumpled bed, my head on his chest.

“Um, no. Unless you’re going to tell me I’m terrible in bed compared to them.”

Ade laughed, “You are ten or more years older than any other woman I’ve slept with. I’ve never met anyone as sure of themselves, or with as much stamina as you. That was the best sex of my life.”

We spent a bit of time laying in bed, chatting about our lives. We held hands, and he told me that the hardest part of being single was the lack of physical touch. 

Ade stroked my skin and I felt him hard against my thigh. He rolled me onto my stomach and entered me in the prone position. With my legs together and his hands pinning my arms, I relished the fullness of his cock inside me. He whispered in my ear and his husky voice had me coming in no time. 

Ade asked if I could spend the night. He’s a cuddler and was hoping for another round or two before morning. But, that wasn’t part of the deal. Since it was my first time out with another man, I was anxious to get home to Hubby. 

I saw Ade recently. He’d returned from a Naval mission that lasted the better part of the year and wanted someone to talk to about his experience who wasn’t in the Navy or part of his family. We met for sushi one afternoon. When he walked into the restaurant, I was struck by how young he looked. In my memory, he looked less like a kid, but standing there in a hooded sweatshirt and a crew-cut, he looked every part the young Navy man.

Ade and I talked about meeting each other, and I let him know that I had been worried about how he’d react to seeing my middle-aged body naked, given his youth. He laughed and told me that any man who was lucky enough to see me naked wasn’t thinking about stretch marks at all. Ade winked and let me know I was still the best he’d ever had. I pointed out that he’d spent the last year on a submarine with only one female officer who wasn’t interested in liaisons.

Of course, I share his opinion about my nakedness now as well, but at the time, I wasn’t quite as confident in my sexuality, and I wanted him to know I appreciated his response.

Ade talked with me about his most recent mission, and the emotional toll it had on him. He was struggling with his position in the military and was considering moving to the recruiting side. That day we ate lunch and walked along the river, talking and laughing. Before we parted, he asked to kiss me and, once again, left me wanting more.